Best Foot Forward - Olympic dreams

Watching the Olympics really took its toll and I think it will be similar for the Paralympics thanks to Paris time.

One evening, finally dragging myself away from the television having told myself “just one more dive” about 10 times, off to bed I finally stumbled.

To find there’s no sheets on it, they’re still wet on the clothesline, and I had forgotten that I’d even stripped the bed that morning.

When it’s around midnight and you know that finding the right size sheet is itself going to take an effort that in any sport would produce at least a bronze medal, you just want to kick yourself for not setting a Make the Bed alarm on the phone.

This is how I operate these days. Everything my crappy memory can’t cope with is on the phone.

Pick up the child. Put out the bins. Take a tablet. Drink some water. Join the zoom meeting. Pay the drum instructor. Stand up and move.

The list goes on and I must say it’s invaluable, although not flawless.

A flat or silenced phone has been known to stop the annoying alarm going off in adequate time.

So after every single sheet in the cupboard has been pulled out onto the floor in search of something that meets the brief of king-size, flannelette and no musty cupboard smell, the wrestling match begins – looking for a silver medal at least so I can be in bed by 1am.

After running the fitted sheet edges around my hands several times and working out which is the short side, I attempted to put it on the long side of the bed. That’s just Murphy’s Law but my word it’s consistent.

Having already shuffled around the bed several times another 723 laps was required to get all the corners in place and I was left puffing like I’d just tried to keep up with Stewie McSweyn on the track.

In the dim light I kicked my bare toes several times on the feet of the bed and broken a fingernail tucking the sheet in.

The rest of my performance was solid. Top sheet (because who wants to wash doona covers on a regular basis?), doona, another doona and finally the joy of sliding in between fresh sheets - now that's gold.

However the exercise left me wide awake sooooooo -  on goes the television for some track cycling action with Perth's own Georgia Baker. 

Just as well I have an alarm I can set.